Mama Can't Sing

Happy Little Hooligans
Oh, the Places I’ll Go!
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Happy Little Hooligans
Oh, the Places I’ll Go!
#momlife
The Crafty Crap
Contact Me
Privacy Policy
About Me
Work With Me
Home

Oh, the Places I'll Go!

Texas Road Trip

Road Trip Spring Break Texas Road Trip Texas Trip YouTube Video

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Hi guys! I’m Jessica.

I’m a part-time nurse, full-time mom.

My husband is a pilot, but I’m the one that always wants to travel. Anywhere. Everywhere!

Weapon of choice: My trusty pink glue gun.

I’m equal parts type A perfectionist, and I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing-so-I’m-just-gonna-wing-it.

This blog is a little bit of ALL of that. It’s a little bit of me.

So sit down and stay a while because I cannot tell a short story.

Hey friends!

Sign up here and every once in a blue moon I might email you with updates or whatever awesomeness I have in store.

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#momlife
Happy Little Hooligans
Oh, the Places I'll Go!
The Crafty Crap

mama_cant_sing

I don’t know how this happened but after what fe

I don’t know how this happened but after what felt like a long day in Branson, I only have one picture. 🤷‍♀️⁣
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We started this morning off with another show. The kids saw a billboard last night for Amazing Pets and suddenly there was nothing else they wanted to do. So we went. It’s insane what the right amount of treats can do! So now *if* we get Louis the bar is set pretty high for that poor guy. Literally. Like 10 feet. 🙄⁣
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Then the middle of the day is a bit of a blur. There was going to the grocery store, getting gas, hunting down a bathroom because somebody had to poop, eating a couple meals, trying desperately to stay cool, figuring out what to do next and instead forcing my children to take a nap... and then suddenly it was evening and time for another show.⁣
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The kids had also seen a billboard for Presleys Country Jubilee and it sounded fun so I got tickets. I didn’t realize that it really is a family of performers and that they were the original Branson show. Doesn’t get more Branson than that! ⁣
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We all loved the Presleys even more than we’d expected. Harper sang along to every song even though she rarely knew the words, and managed to get every single autograph. Hudson... wasn’t too distracting. Though he did still manage to invite everyone around us to his birthday party. ⁣
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There are SO many other things we’d love to do here, but without 2 parents some of it is impossible. And with this heat 🥵 a lot of it didn’t sound fun anymore. So I guess we’ll just have to come back! ⁣

What day is it? What time zone am I in? What am I

What day is it? What time zone am I in? What am I doing here? Who am I? ⁣
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This morning we woke up in St Louis and took a scenic riverboat cruise because tickets for the tram to the top of the arch were sold out. So I guess we’ll just have to do it next time you meet me in St Louis, Louis! We still got some great views though because we walked circles around that thing. Hudson, of course, walked around with his sunglasses and his Starbucks saying, “What arch?” 😒⁣
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Then we hit the road but made a quick pit stop at @uranusfudgefactory in Uranus, Missouri. We needed to add world’s largest belt buckle to our belt, and we also needed to pee. Since the restrooms are in the gift shop... we left with some magnets. Those fudge packing ladies in Uranus have got some jokes, let me tell you. ⁣
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When we checked into the hotel in Branson I was so proud that I didn’t even have to apologize to any receptionists this time. We also had exactly one hour before the evening shows started, so we picked up some tickets for @rezaillusionist
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Sure, he can read minds and levitate and not cut people’s heads off and make giant things (and people) appear and disappear, but by intermission Hudson made the paper cut on his finger disappear and made 2 pieces of candy stick together. Harper was able to go from standing to sitting in the blink of an eye and could magically pull out 2 of the same color skittles at the same time. I, however, was able to make a whole bucket of popcorn disappear while holding a kid’s candy in one hand and continually force a child to remain seated with the other, all while balancing another child on my lap. So who’s the real magician here? ⁣

Road trip day 7,523:⁣ ⁣ When I was asked this

Road trip day 7,523:⁣
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When I was asked this evening where we were coming from I couldn’t even remember. 🤷‍♀️⁣
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Turns out it was today that we hit the Children’s Museum of Indianapolis, and we hit it hard. It’s the largest children’s museum in the world and we managed to see every exhibit (to some degree). I kept having to pull them away only to move to another exhibit I would have to pull them away from. ⁣
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Eventually we got back on the road, but I did have to stop to see the world’s largest mailbox. As it turns out, this tiny town in Illinois is also home to the world’s largest rocking chair, bird cage, key, barber pole, pencil, ruler, mouse trap, deer horns, golf club, seesaw, pitchfork and a couple others. There were so many tourists in this little town and I just kept laughing at what a genius idea this was to bring people in. ⁣
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When we finally made it to our hotel tonight and the garage elevator was broken and I paid for parking I couldn’t use and the entrance isn’t actually the entrance and I completely unloaded my car 3 times before we finally made it to the lobby, I was not a happy camper. I might have even cry yelled at the girl at the front desk. Luckily I didn’t go back down to complain about the disgusting smell in the room. Turns out it was just my son’s feet. ⁣
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But the good news is, my children were finally scared enough of me that they decided to behave in a hotel. For tonight anyway...⁣
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Leaving Daddy was difficult, but we had to start b

Leaving Daddy was difficult, but we had to start back home today. ☹️ Today is actually his birthday though we celebrated yesterday, and yesterday was our 15th anniversary, which I forgot to mention. We didn’t forget, we’re just going to have to celebrate our anniversary later. Sans children.🤪⁣
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We made it to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway with just 6 minutes to spare before the last tour. So maybe race car driving is my calling. 🏎⁣
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They took us on a lap of the track (at a max speed of about 15 mph) where we also got to “kiss the bricks,” which is apparently the finish line. 🏁🤷‍♀️ We may not have actually kissed them, but the kids both picked up tiny black rocks and are certain they are rubber from real live race cars and definitely not part of the pavement. Definitely. ⁣
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Hudson needed his picture with every blue car (obviously), and Harper took over my camera (again). I’m adding Indy 500 to my bucket list. As a spectator. But you never know. 😏⁣
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Also, can someone please tell me it’s not just my kids that can be perfectly fine all day (or at least within reason), and then go berserk the second they walk into a hotel. Every. Single. Time. I’m losing my mind here. No amount of reward or punishment works at all. I need a pulling out my hair emoji.

Somehow I was the first one up this morning. This

Daddy only has one day off, so we had to make the

Daddy only has one day off, so we had to make the most of it. Today we visited Legoland Discovery Center, here in Columbus, Ohio. ⁣
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While I would definitely say it was expensive, we managed to squeeze every little drop of value out of that place. ⁣
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Harper was all about checking things off on her scavenger hunt, and making sure she saw and experienced and built every. last. thing. She’s a girl after my own heart. 💕⁣
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Hudson (and Daddy) could have built and tested LEGO racers all day long. Aaaaand they pretty much did. Hudson built at least 4 cars to each of ours, and he raced them over and over until they were nothing left but a bunch of LEGO pieces. Then he’d start all over!⁣
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I got a good little nap in during the 4D movie, but the parts I saw (when it startled me with little spurts of water) were really cute!⁣
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We eventually pried the LEGOs from the kids’ hands and decided it was dinner time. ⁣
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Forty Deuce Cafe and Bar is a family friendly restaurant with amazing food (like their award winning chicken & waffles, my fave) and they make giant shakes with everything on top that you could possibly imagine. So obviously we had to go. ⁣
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It also happens to be a speakeasy burlesque club upstairs, but uhh... we did not go upstairs.⁣
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When we came back to the room and I caught Hudson literally hanging from the curtains, we decided it was bedtime. So by 7:30, both kids were completely passed out. Mind you, this is 6:30 at home. ⁣
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Any bets on what time they get up in the morning? 😩⁣

I had zero plans for Cincinnati yesterday and afte

I had zero plans for Cincinnati yesterday and after striking out a few places, the zoo seemed like our best option. Since we already have a great zoo at home and we’ve been to San Diego, I never thought this one would be worth visiting. But I was wrong!⁣
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First we made a beeline for the cheetah 🐆encounter, where we got to see cheetahs run at full speed. That was pretty insane to watch. 😳 I’ll post the video in my stories. ⁣
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Then we made sure to visit all the animals we don’t have at home, which included our new buddies the Galapagos tortoises. We also took a walkabout with some kangaroos, and did some synchronized swimming with the penguins. The cicadas were fun to see too. Harper screamed with delight every time one came within 20 feet of her and did a special dance when they landed on her. 🤣⁣
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We did get to meet Fiona the hippo, but only briefly. Her mama saw my kids coming and got Fiona out of there fast. I think she knew my kids are a bad influence. 😏 I feel you mama. ⁣
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But the highlight of the day (the whole trip, really) was seeing Daddy. It’s been barely over a week, but longer than we’re used to him being gone. Plus he’s missed out on so much this trip that it only made us miss him more. ⁣
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And even better, now that Daddy is here, the kids don’t want me for anything anymore. 🙌⁣
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Today we visited the Ark Encounter in Kentucky. Th

Today we visited the Ark Encounter in Kentucky. This massive thing was built according to the dimensions in the Bible (with a few modern day conveniences added) and shows exactly how everything was done. The building of the ark, living quarters, food/water supply and storage, all the way down to how they (ahem) cleaned up after all those animals. ⁣
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It definitely kept the kids’ attention running around and all up inside this giant “raft” (as Hudson says). But there was also so much more to read about so I found myself taking pictures of the plaques to read later. I’ve known the story for as long as I can remember, but there were so many details I hadn’t ever considered and they had an explanation for it all. ⁣
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As usual, Hudson made a friend and then suddenly we were a family of 6 for the majority of the day. Those animals went in two by two and they came out that way too. And then to the petting zoo, and the playground, and...⁣
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This was also the first day of this entire trip that we didn’t have a drop of rain. Oh, the irony!

I was certain today was a bust. I didn’t get tic

I was certain today was a bust. I didn’t get tickets to Mammoth Cave in advance, so naturally, they have been sold out for a while. But lucky me happened to check the site JUST at the right time this morning and snagged the only tickets that were suddenly available! ⁣
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So then with tickets for the last tour of the day, we still needed something to do.⁣⁣⁣
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First, we went to check out Abraham Lincoln’s birthplace. It’s actually a replica (though a very old replica) of the tiny one room, one window log cabin, set near a spring in the most BEAUTIFUL area of Kentucky. Fun fact: The cabin is housed inside what is technically the first Lincoln Memorial. ⁣⁣⁣
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Then I took them to Dinosaur World. I’m a sucker for tourist traps and apparently my kids are too. Hudson made a friend and they all ran through the trails roaring and screaming and laughing and making up names and facts about every single dinosaur. Totally worth the $34.19.⁣⁣⁣
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After lunch and an ice cream (because we all scream for ice cream), we visited Kentucky’s Stonehenge because summer solstice is coming. ...Whatever that means. I am once again very confused.⁣⁣⁣
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We made it back to Mammoth Cave with exactly 9 minutes to spare. The kids did really well considering it was a 2 1/2 hour tour - so long as they weren’t allowed to walk anywhere near each other, look at one another, or hear the sound of the other’s voice. The section we visited was a dry cave which means lots of gypsum and no stalactites or stalagmites (though Harper and I still argued over which is which). It’s always fun to go into a cave, but in all honestly, there wasn’t that much to look at except to see how big and long it is (the longest in the world), and we only saw a small portion of it. Oh well. Still no regrets. ⁣⁣⁣
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And for now, after a minor mishap at the first hotel, we are now in an Embassy Suites where I have MY OWN FREAKING ROOM!!!

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