A few years ago I was rocking my baby girl and doing my best to soak up every bit of that sleepy baby sweetness. You know those times where the entire universe is centered around you and your baby, and the peace of the moment, and the love so strong it hurts, and the overwhelming joy of motherhood, and the sadness that babies don’t keep, and when you fully expect your heart to just burst into a million pieces?
One of those moments.
We’re all snuggled up in the rocking chair and I’m singing our regular bedtime set like I’m Norah Jones or something. Suddenly she opens her big blue eyes, reaches her squishy little hand up, and covers my mouth. And keeps it there.
Okay, so Mama can’t sing.
Fast forward 5 years, we still have the same bedtime repertoire. Every. Single. Night. We even have our own special song.
Sometimes we have sweet moments, sometimes I think one of us isn’t going to make it out alive. But I still try to chronicle every bit of our lives that I possibly can. I am very much a plan for the future but live in the moment kind of person, but there’s so much of our lives that I never want to forget. And seriously, I think motherhood may be the cause of Alzheimer’s because 5 years ago was the last time I remembered anything.
I started this blog as a scrapbook of sorts. I already take 7,528 pictures of my kids a day. Times 2. I also keep a little journal of all the funny things they say and do, and little notes about what we did that day. Mostly good memories. A few bad, but essential ones too.
This blog was supposed to be an “easy” way for me to combine my pictures and my journal, and to share with anyone who cared. Except then I got started and realized it isn’t as easy as I thought. At least not yet. In researching how to actually do this whole blogging thing, I realized how many people do this for real. Some of them actually make money doing it. Like, real live dollar bills. And even more people read those blogs. I read them all the time without even thinking about it being a blog. It’s just a “website” to me.
I have no plans to quit my day job, but now that I have my own “website” I am just hoping people will actually come to read it. This is a scary thing for me because I’ve always loved to write, but I never had the courage to let many people read anything I’ve written. I’m hoping I’ll be able to merge my scrapbook journaling with something real people actually want to read. I plan to try anyway.
So if you feel inclined to stick around (and I hope you do), I am Jessica.
Here is an 8-year-old picture of me and a friend. That’s acceptable, right? I mean, it’s still me. I’m just a little older
and wiser now. And just look at how cute I used to be! Kids, man. They suck the youth right outta ya.
First and foremost, I am a Christian. I have struggled to find the perfect words to talk about my faith, but you know what? You’re not going to get perfect words from me. And really, that’s the best part. No matter how hard I try, I always fall short. Jesus loves me anyway. It’s something that I know and believe, but I can’t fully understand. Like the Grand Canyon, or rainbows, or the fact that I am sitting here typing while there are a zillion other things going on inside my body. I know the facts, but it’s still hard to comprehend. That’s Jesus’s love for me. That real, that wide, that rich, that high. Beyond my ability to comprehend. I don’t know why He chose me to live this life, but I am so overwhelmingly thankful that He did. Jesus is absolutely the best thing ever. Without Him, none of this other crap matters.
But here’s some unimportant crap anyway:
I am also a pediatric nurse and a mom of 2. I almost never take my kids’ temperatures, and I believe Motrin fixes everything. I almost never take my kids to the doctor (except when they need immunizations. Don’t get me started on that lecture), but that’s usually my advice to everyone else. Call your doctor. It’s actually amazing I ever became a nurse because I am very much an introvert by nature. Somehow I chose a career path that requires me to not only talk to people but to touch them. Now, I am also an unsolicited hugger. You’ve been warned.
I am blissfully married to my high school sweetheart, Dustin. Yup, I married the kid that used to chase me down the hall trying to kiss me. Sounds cute huh? Actually, we were way too old for it to be cute anymore. Still, I hardly remember a time in my life where he wasn’t around. I make fun of him 100% of the time but I’m only mean to those I love. He’s the one who knows me better than anyone, sees me at my worst, takes the brunt of my misguided frustrations, and for some reason he sticks around. Even better, he still loves me. He’s the best husband, best dad, best friend, best person I could ever have chosen to spend my life with. I’m gonna love him forever and ever, amen.
Harper is my firstborn. She is my exact opposite and waaay too much like me. She is strong-willed and outgoing and insightful and sweet. And ohhh, that blond hair! She is so absolutely beautiful that I worry it will one day be her downfall. She is the funniest person I know and she is fuuuull of drama. Also, she was born without an inside voice. Sass at those decibels will be the death of me.
Hudson is the baby that I can’t accept is no longer a baby. The multilingual genius of the family, he knows enough ASL to get by, understands more English than he speaks, and is fluent in gibberish. He gives the best open-mouthed kisses and his favorite word is “uh oh.” A recent convert from mama’s boy to daddy’s sidekick, he is all boy. He loves milk and dirt and airplanes, and his hobbies include barking, flushing toilets, and mass destruction.
I am a pilot’s daughter, and now a pilot’s wife, but I have no desire to pilot anything myself. I do however love, love, love to travel (preferably by airplane). It’s a small world, but there’s so much in it. The landscapes, the cityscapes, the people, the cultures. The more I see, the more I am in awe of how big God is and what He can do. My dream job would be to have my own travel show where I get to see and do all the fun stuff and have someone else do all the behind the scenes work. Unfortunately, the Travel Channel’s website does not have a “hiring” section so I guess this blog is the closest thing I’ll get. I want to see it all. Unfortunately, my bank account usually says, “You’re gonna have to do some overtime for that,” and I sit back down. Still, we take any and every opportunity to pack up the kids and get out of Dodge. Or Houston, as the case may be.
In my free time at home, I like to Just kidding. That never happens. But if it did, I would be the crafting queen. I’m not really good at anything in particular except spending gobs of money at craft stores. For instance, I have a sewing machine and I actually use it from time to time. I do not, however, use patterns. Ever. This is probably why my Halloween costumes are single-use only. I also go way overboard with my kids’ birthday parties. Not like those people who hire party planners. I’m not that good. But I am one of those moms that has to have the food and the music match the theme that I have transformed my entire house into. The kids don’t even notice, I know. Sometimes I could make even ol’ Martha jealous, sometimes I am an epic Pinterest failure. But anytime there is an opportunity to melt my flesh with hot glue, count me in.
I try to be a good mom but the list of “mom” things I can’t do is forever long. Singing my babies to sleep, for instance. I try all sorts of things, but I’m far from perfect. If you’re reading this, I’m probably just like you. So maybe stick around. Let’s be friends. Follow me on social media. Leave me a comment. Subscribe to my little “website” and laugh with me. Or at me. Whatever.